Five main points of being kind in life

Xiaoao's workplace communication circle

People are not easy in society. What should we do? Be modest and prudent, guard against arrogance and rashness, always calm and lenient

------Zhuge Changqing (Lingyi)

In the modern workplace, when people are "in contact" with each other, there are often many endless variables - appreciation and disgust, praise and slander, cooperation and competition, support and demolition, comedy and tragedy... So, as white-collar workers in the workplace, how to face their own work and communication circle, and how to benefit from the competitive and challenging modern career with a good attitude and the best way? Now I want to give some good advice to white-collar workers for your reference.

1. Let silence reveal your meaning.

In the workplace communication, perhaps most people will think that language is their main way of communication, but I think silence is an effective means of communication besides language. Because silence is more rational, intelligent and meaningful than language. For example, when you are subjected to unjustified accusations and malicious slanders from others, and you cannot clarify your true source with a frank statement, at this time, you might as well keep silent, because silence is golden, and silence is a power. When you keep silent, the other party often feels infinite pressure because he doesn't know your bottom card, and then his will will will be shaken or even defeated without fighting; If you resist and argue at this time, your foolish behavior will give the other party an opportunity to take advantage of it. In this way, not only will you not get any friendly outcome, but you will further fall into a passive and embarrassing dilemma, and at the same time, you will greatly undermine your perfect image. As the "Wisdom Book" said, "A heart of openness is like a letter spread out in front of everyone. There should be a hidden city in the chest. The huge space and small gullies can make important things precipitated and hidden. The implication comes from self-control, and the real victory is to be silent."

If there is a greater truth than language, it is silence. All the meanings will be hidden in a look, a smile, or even a blank expression, which is exactly the expression of our real intention. Therefore, wise people often deeply understand the value of silence, so as to show their deepest connotation in the best way.

2. Let modesty show your wisdom.

"Modesty makes people progress, and pride makes people lag behind". This is a wise saying left by the great leader Chairman Mao. Modesty is a person's ideological cultivation. Its core is to be good at discovering their own weaknesses and the strengths of others, and be willing to use their strengths to make up for their own weaknesses. Among the traditional virtue stories in ancient China, there are many examples: Zhou Gongyan taught himself about modesty, Confucius talked about breaking man, Yan Yingqian bowed, and the coachman corrected mistakes. They are all using vivid and vivid examples to reveal the true meaning of modesty in life. Now, as a professional career, it is all the same. However, in real work interactions, there are often some people who think they are highly intelligent and ignore the opinions of others. They always like to talk loudly and pretend to be experts and wise people. Such overconfident people are undoubtedly annoying. Maybe they are really powerful, but they are rarely respected and appreciated by others. They are doomed to live alone. So here, I would like to advise all white-collar workers in the workplace: at any time, don't let yourself become an expert in all aspects, let yourself always deal with others with a humble and scholar attitude, even if your knowledge is better than the other party, you should also show three points of euphemism, so that you can not only win the appreciation and respect of others, but also show your talent and wisdom. For example, a bunch of flowers, when it is in full bloom, you will naturally associate with its exhaustion and fragmentation; When it is in bud, you will naturally be full of a beautiful vision and expectation for it.

3. Let Jingyan show your efficiency.

Precise words, as the name implies, are a kind of essential language, which will express its profound meaning in very short sentences. This is not only a manifestation of conciseness, but also a manifestation of work efficiency. On the contrary, it is chattering and gushing. There are some people who will make you feel very painful. Often when they open their mouth, others will lose the right to speak. They can never express their views concisely, never know what to say and what not to say, always say what they think, incoherent and unclear. Until you lose patience, they still can't close their mouth.

Zeng Guofan once said: "There are two factors of bad things in life, one is pride, the other is more words, more words are boring, more words cause disaster, more words lead to failure, and more words are useless." So, white-collar workers, please remember the truth that more words must be lost, more words are better than less words, less words are better than words, more words are better than more knowledge, even if thousands of words, it is not as impressive as a fact. "A lot of words is a symbol of vanity, because those who are generous in their words must be mean in their actions. Those who have morality should not speak much; those who have faith should not speak much; those who have talent and wisdom should not speak much."

4. Let humor show your charm.

Some people think that humor is "fun" and "joking", which is difficult to get on the stage. I have different views on this. In my opinion, the intense and busy work is like a piece of pale paper. The lack of vitality will make people feel a kind of infinite depression. A bit of humor is appropriate, and some gorgeous colors are added to the pale paper, which will make people feel a sense of visual beauty and mood relief. Therefore, I think that moderate humor is also a very important auxiliary means in modern communication. It will not affect the progress of work, on the contrary, it can also play some effects and functions that cannot be achieved by "being honest and resolute". For example, when you have conflicts with others, use a little humor, which can clear up the gap between you and others, and turn sorrow into joy; In a serious meeting, a little humor at the right time can ease the tense atmosphere, thus mobilizing the good state of the participants and improving the effectiveness of the meeting; When you are in an awkward situation, use a little humor, which can help you get out of the dilemma and achieve the purpose of self-deprecating... In short, as a white-collar in the workplace, you should skillfully use your humor, let laughter add harmony to our communication, and let laughter add efficiency to our work.

In interpersonal communication, people often say things in a serious way, which inevitably makes people feel depressed. Even if you only say for three minutes, it will make people feel that you have said for an hour; If you can use a little humor to make people laugh, even if you speak for an hour, it will make others feel as short as three minutes, which is the charm of humor.

5. Let tolerance show your grace.

"The violet leaves the fragrance on the feet of the people who tread on it, which is tolerance." The above famous saying comes from the famous American writer Mark Twain, who skillfully reveals the philosophy of life in modern interpersonal communication with very short words.

As the saying goes, "No one is perfect". Most of us will have such shortcomings as arbitrariness, stubbornness, jealousy, jealousy, fear and arrogance. Facing these shortcomings, as a party in the world, if we blindly complain and blame, it will not solve the root of the problem, but will expose these weak points of human nature and promote a more tragic result. This is determined by the nature of human nature. When we make mistakes, it is not that we are unaware of our mistakes, but that we stubbornly refuse to admit them temporarily because of a mask of vanity and pride. Therefore, at this time, if you accuse him of his shortcomings and mistakes in a very inappropriate way, you will inevitably hit his stubborn iron wall, and there will be no good result; If at this time, you can maintain a good attitude, appreciate each other with understanding and tolerance, and tactfully make the other party aware of their mistakes, this is a means of communication full of wisdom. Therefore, as a white-collar in the workplace, being kind to others can be kind to yourself. When you treat others with benevolent heart and courtesy, you will certainly be understood and respected by others, so as to promote a more harmonious and friendly workplace communication circle, and fully display your charm and style!

In short, in the changing modern workplace, there may be "enemies" in one way or another for various reasons, but in my opinion, the biggest "enemy" is you, because only you are the source of change; Only you are the magician who changes all this. The white-collar friends in the workplace, please use your own way of communication, let reason bloom harmonious friendship, and let wisdom bloom colorful rings!

处世善言：五大要领

笑傲职场交际圈

   人在社会上不容易，怎么办？谦虚谨慎、戒骄戒躁、时刻冷静、宽以待人......

                         ------ 诸葛长青（灵毅）

   在现代职场中，当人与人之间相“接触”的时候，往往会出现很多层出不穷的变数——欣赏与厌憎，赞美与诋毁，协作与竞争，扶助与拆台，喜剧与悲剧……那么，作为职场的白领，如何去面对自己的工作交际圈，又如何以良好的心态和最佳的方式在充满竞争与挑战的现代职场生涯中获益呢？下面我想送给职场白领几点善意的谋言，仅供大家参考。
 

   1、让沉默去展现你的内涵。

   在职场交际中，也许大多数人都会认为，语言是其主要的交流方式，但我却认为，除了语言以外，沉默更是一种行之有效的交流手段。因为，沉默和语言相比，更富有理性，更富有智慧，也更富有内涵。比如，当你遭受到别人的无端指责和恶意诋毁的时候，而你又无法以坦言去澄清你的真源，在此时，你不妨保持一下沉默，因为，沉默是金，沉默更是一种力量。当你保持沉默时，对方往往由于不知道你的底牌而感到无穷的压力，这时，他的意志也将会受到动摇甚至不战自溃；如果此时你进行了反抗和争辩，那么，你的愚昧行径必将给对方以可乘之机，这样一来，不但不会得到任何友善的结局，反而会使自己进一步陷入被动和尴尬的窘境，同时也会大大的诋损了自己的完美形象。正如《智慧书》中所云：“坦露之心如一封摊开在众人面前的信。胸中要有潜藏隐秘的城府；巨大的空间和微小的沟壑均可让重要的事情沉淀而深藏。含蓄来自于自我控制，能够缄默方为真正的胜利。”
   如果说，还有一种比语言更伟大的真理，那就是沉默。一切的含义都将潜藏在一个眼神、一个笑容、甚至一个木然的表情之中，这恰恰是我们最真实意图的表白。因此，智者们往往会深深领悟其沉默的价值，从而以最佳的方式去展现自己最为深沉的内涵。

   2、让谦虚去展现你的智慧。

   “虚心使人进步，骄傲使人落后”。这是伟大的领袖毛主席给我们留下来的一条至理名言。谦虚是人的思想修养，其核心是善于发现自己的短处和别人的长处，乐于以彼之长，补己之短。在我国古代的传统美德故事中，不乏典范之例：周公言教身带论谦虚、孔子谈破满、晏婴谦躬，车夫改错等，它们都在用一段段生动而形象的事例来揭示其谦虚处世的真谛。而作为现如今的职场生涯，亦是皆通一理。不过，在现实的工作交往中，往往会有一些人，自认为悟性很高，对于他人的意见置若罔闻，总是喜欢高谈阔论，以专家和智者自居。这种过于自负的人无疑是令人生厌的，也许他们真的很强大，但却很难得到别人的尊敬和赏识，注定会过得很孤独。所以在这里，我要奉劝各位职场白领们：在任何时候，都不要让自己成为各方面的行家，要让自己永远以一种谦恭和学者的姿态去和别人打交道，即使你的学识胜于对方，也要表现出三分委婉的风度，这样，不但可以赢取他人的赏识和尊敬，也可以展现自我的才华和智慧。打个比方，一束鲜花，当它花枝招展的时候，你自然就会联想到它的枯竭和零落；而当它含苞欲放的时候，你自然就会对它充满着一种美好的憧憬和期待。

   3、让精言去展现你的效率。

   精言，顾名思义，是一种精髓的语言，它会用很简短的语句去表达其深刻的涵义，这不仅是一种言简意赅的体现，更是一种工作效率的体现。与其相反，就是喋喋不休和滔滔不绝。有这么一些人会让你感觉到很痛苦，往往他们一开口，别人就会失去了说话的权利，他们从来不能简明地表达自己的观点，从来不知道什么该说什么不该说，总是想到什么就说什么，语无伦次，表意不清，直到你失去耐心，他仍然闭不上自己的嘴巴。
   曾国藩曾说过：“人生坏事的两个因素，一是自傲，二是多言，多言生厌，多言招祸，多言致败，多言无益。”所以，各位白领们，请牢记言多必有失的道理，话多不如话少，话少不如话好，多言不如多知，即使千言万语，也不及一件事实留下的印象深刻。“多言是虚浮的象征，因为口头慷慨的人，行动一定吝啬。凡有道德者，不可多言；有信义者，必不多言；有才智者，不必多言。”

 
   4、让幽默去展现你的魅力。

   有人认为幽默就是“找乐儿”和“开玩笑”，难登大雅之堂。对此，我倒有不同的观点，在我看来，紧张繁忙的工作犹如一张苍白的纸，缺乏生气，会让人感到一种无穷的压抑，适当的来上一点儿幽默，为这张苍白的纸点缀上一些绚丽的色彩，会让人感觉到一种视觉的美感和心情的舒畅。因此我认为，适度的幽默，它也是现代交流方式中的一种非常重要的辅助手段，它不但不会影响到工作的进展，相反，它还可以起到一些“正言厉色”所无法达到的效果和作用。比如，在你和别人发生矛盾的时候，来上一点儿幽默，它可以冲释彼此间的隔阂，转忧为喜；在严肃的会议中，适时的来上一点儿幽默，它可以缓解一下紧张的气氛，从而调动起与会者的良好状态，提高会议的实效性；在你处于尴尬的时候，来上一点儿幽默，它可以使你从窘境当中脱离出来，达到自我解嘲的目的……总之，作为职场的白领，应该巧妙的运用好自己的幽默，让笑声去为我们的交往增添和谐的色彩，让笑声去为我们的工作增加效率的砝码。
   在人际交往中，往往一本正经地说事，难免会让人感到一种压抑，即使你只说三分钟，也会让人感到你已经说了一小时之久；如果你能来上一点儿幽默，让人笑口盈盈，哪怕你说了一小时，也会让别人感觉到像三分钟一样短，这就是幽默的魅力。

   5、让宽容去展现你的风度。

   “紫罗兰把香气留在踩它的人的脚上，这就是宽容。”以上这句名言出自于美国著名作家马克吐温，他用非常简短的言语巧妙的揭示了现代人际交往中的处世哲学。
   俗话说：“人无完人”。我们大多数人都会具有武断、固执、嫉妒、猜忌、恐惧和傲慢等缺点，而面对这些缺点，作为处世的一方，如果一味的去进行抱怨和指责，那么不但不会解决问题的根本，反而会使这些人性的弱点暴露无疑，去促成一种更为可悲的后果。这是由人性的本质所决定的，当我们犯了错误的时候，并非意识不到自己的错误，只是因为一种虚荣心和自尊心的遮掩，固执地暂时不肯承认而已。所以，在这个时候，如果你用一种很不妥当的方式去指责他的缺点和错误，必然会撞击在他那固执的铁墙上，是不会有任何良好结果的；如果在此时，你能够保持一种良好的心态，以理解和宽容去品察对方，并委婉的让对方意识到自己的错误，这才是一种充满智慧的交际手段。因此，作为职场的白领，与人为善才能与己为善，当你以宽仁之心礼待于人的时候，也必然会得到他人的理解和尊敬，从而去促成自己更为和谐、友善的职场交际圈，并尽情的去展现你的魅力和风采！

   总之，在风云变幻的现代职场中，可能会因为种种原因而产生这样或那样的“敌手”，但是在我看来，最大的“敌手”莫过于你自己，因为，只有你自己，才是改变这一切的源动力；只有你自己，才是变幻这一切的魔术师。职场的白领朋友们，请运用好自己的交际方式，让理性去绽放出和谐的友谊，让智慧去绽放出绚丽的彩环！

(This article is an original article by Zhuge Changqing, and the pictures are selected from the Internet. Welcome to forward it, and please indicate the source for forwarding)

Introduction to Zhuge Changqing: Zhuge Changqing, the inheritor and promoter of traditional Chinese culture, is willing to "learn from sages, promote virtue, revitalize China and benefit the world" together with people with the same ideals in the world.

(Zhuge Changqing: zhuge8031@163.com ）

Zhuge Changqing mailbox：

zhuge8031@163.com

Zhuge Changqing's Chinese Dream

Learn from sages and carry forward virtue

Revitalizing China for the benefit of the world

 （本文是诸葛长青原创文章，图片选自网络。欢迎转发，转发引用请注明出处）

诸葛长青简介：诸葛长青，中国国学传统文化传承弘扬者，愿与天下志同道合者一起“学习圣贤、弘扬善德、振兴中华、造福世界”。

（诸葛长青：zhuge8031@163.com）

Zhuge Changqing mailbox：

zhuge8031@163.com

  诸葛长青中国梦  

学习圣贤 弘扬善德

振兴中华 造福世界

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