be careful! You shouldn't say nine words!
Fierce words showed the reason for weakness—— Hugoli, B. Zhan Jin, Huang Huiyuan, translated by
1 "Come here."
It is ironic that the real meaning of this command sentence is actually to say: "Go away." Especially when a law enforcement officer said it in a threatening tone, some street gangsters automatically translated it into "slip away" and put it into action.
If a person who is neither a policeman nor a law-enforcement officer orders you (to come here), but can't provide any legal reasons, you should first ask: "Why?" If you can't get a reasonable answer, you might as well learn to be a street gangster and run away!
2 "You don't understand."
I don't know what you think, but this sentence sounds insulting to me. I can almost hear a comma at the end of the sentence, followed by the silent "fool". No matter who you say it to, it sounds very unpleasant. So it is suggested that you should say something like this: "It may not sound easy to understand, but..." or "Let me explain it to you..."
3 "Regulations are regulations."
This sounds like someone is going to be unlucky! If you believe that there is a need for regulations, don't be stingy with your explanation. For example, if you tell children that they must go to bed on time, and they want to know why, you should explain that they have enough sleep and good spirit, and have the strength to play the next day; Or tell them that you need their help to play the role of a good parent: "I have the responsibility to make you grow up healthily and happily, so you do your job well and I do mine."
4 "It's none of your business."
This is a rather overbearing sentence and an alternative kind of verbal violence. The reason why this remark sounds harsh is that it makes people shut up and refuse people thousands of miles away. That means you have nothing to say. It seems that you are just bullying others.
5 "What's your problem?"
The word "problem" is very problematic. It sounds like a helpless fool. It's like going back to primary school and being bullied by others. They don't understand anything. After all, no one is willing to admit that he has a problem, and everyone would rather hear the solution. The sentence "What's your problem" makes people sound that the problem is too serious.
In my opinion, it is better to replace it with the following sentence: "What's the matter? What can I do for you?" Then the two sides can discuss.
6 "You never..." "You always..."
This is the biggest lie. It's like knocking over a boat of people with one rod. Do children really "never" clean the room? (OK! For example, maybe it is!) Is your other half really "always" late? In fact, it is exaggerating the blame and playing by the title. It is obviously difficult to match the facts. It can be seen that you have lost sight of things. Besides, you wait and see, he will not pay attention to you again soon.
So the best way is to ask for his help. "If you are late and don't call, I will feel as if you don't care about me and my time." In this way, he will apologize, at least willing to explain the reason; If you immediately ask, "You never call first..." then he may ask you whether you remember that he was late three times last month and called.
"I warn you for the last time."
It is useless to say such words, because what will happen after that? It's not like you are talking about it again. It's endless. If you really don't want to say the same thing again, there is only one way to go: take action. If you are not prepared for action, others will look down on you. If you are ready and "really" ready, then warn your opponent that he can prepare to fight back against you. You'd better not reveal all your cards at once.
If it is necessary to strengthen your tone, I suggest you say this: "What I want to say is very important, so I repeat it again, please listen carefully."
8 "I'm all for you."
No one believes this kind of nonsense. As soon as this word is spoken, the listener will sneer at it and return it with sarcasm: "Yes, yes, I bet you are for my good."
9 "How about being rational?"
The way to make people rational is to treat them rationally. The words used should be precise and guaranteed. For example, "Do I understand your position?" Then repeat what the other person said in your words. This will not only ensure that you understand everything they said, but also that they can understand what they want to convey from your report. This method can eliminate people's tension and make them feel that you are on the same side with them and support them. Then you can help them think more rationally and not mess things up. There is no need to insinuate and insult them between the lines.
(This article is an original article by Zhuge Changqing, and the pictures are selected from the Internet. Welcome to forward it, and please indicate the source for forwarding)
Introduction to Zhuge Changqing: Zhuge Changqing, the inheritor and promoter of traditional Chinese culture, is willing to "learn from sages, promote virtue, revitalize China and benefit the world" together with people with the same ideals in the world.
(Zhuge Changqing: firstname.lastname@example.org ）
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Zhuge Changqing's Chinese Dream
Learn from sages and carry forward virtue
Revitalizing China for the benefit of the world
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Selected Articles in Previous Periods
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1The wisdom of traditional Chinese culture changes the destiny: filial piety to parents+five in one+self-improvement
2Zhuge Changqing's Three Golden Keys to Changing Destiny
3Zhuge Changqing's Greeting Ritual (15 Steps Concise Version)
3 诸葛长青施食仪轨 （十五步简洁版）
4How to repent: the ritual of repentance and the method of repentance (full version)
5How to read the Dizang Sutra: Methods for reciting Dizang Sutra (complete version)
6How to release? The ritual of releasing life
7Zhuge Changqing's Repentance Culture: A Case Study of Repentance Methods for Changing Destiny
8Free Life Culture: Free Life Culture in Ancient China
9Shocking photo of feeding: Buddha, Bodhisattva and Dharma Protector come to the scene
10Feeding Rite Return: the return is changed to simple return