Yan's family motto: prenatal education method, children's education, leniency and strict education

颜氏家训：胎教方法、子女教育、宽严教育

Children's education, starting from the environment of prenatal education, focuses on filial piety, benevolence and righteousness, and focuses on the combination of leniency and strictness.

----Zhuge Changqing

There is a good book on family education in China, called Yan Family Instructions.

The author of Yan's family instructions was Yan Zhitui in the Northern Qi Dynasty (529-595).

Yan Zhitui, who was born in Linyi (now Linyi, Shandong Province), Langye. A writer of the Northern Qi Dynasty. He was born in a bureaucratic family and learned from his family. The book Yan Family Instructions is an important prose work in the late Northern Dynasty; The "View of My Life Fu" contained in the "Book of the Northern Qi Dynasty" is also a famous piece of Fu.

Yan's Family Instructions, a total of 20 articles, is a systematic and complete family education textbook written by Yan Zhitui in order to use Confucianism to teach his descendants and maintain the tradition and status of his family. This is the summary of his life's experience about the scholar-bureaucrats' standing up, running the family, doing things and learning, which has an important impact on the development history of feudal family education. Later generations called this book "family education norms".

Zhuge Changqing believes that although the Yan Family Instructions may not be suitable for today, some contents are still worth learning and promoting.

Yan Zhitui's family education highlights five points: first, attach importance to prenatal education, second, advocate strict education, third, attach importance to environmental edification, fourth, attach importance to family language education, and fifth, attach importance to moral education.

That's what he said and did. His descendants have produced many celebrities.

Yan Silu, the son of Yan Zhitui, was a famous Confucian in the Tang Dynasty;

Yan Silu has four sons (Yan Zhitui's four grandsons), all of whom are famous for a time.

Yan Shigu, the eldest son of Yan Silu, was highly praised by Li Shimin, Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty. He was a famous Confucian master, Confucian scholar, linguist and historian of the Tang Dynasty.

Yan Xiangshi, the second son, was one of the eighteen bachelors of Li Shimin, Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty. He helped Li Shimin build the rule of Zhenguan and opened up the prosperous era of the Tang Dynasty.

Yan Qinli, the third son, is a bachelor of the Tang Taizong Ritual Hall.

Yan Zhenqing, Yan Qinli's great-grandson, is even more famous and shocking in the literary world of ancient and modern times: Yan Zhenqing not only served as the crown prince, the minister of the official department, the supervisor of the imperial court, and won the title of the Duke of Lu County, but also the "Yanti" calligraphy he created was known as one of the four regular scripts in the Chinese calligraphy industry.

From this, we can see that Yan's family motto is really shocking.

Yan Family Instructions said:

Wise people can become talents without education. Foolish people will not work even if they have more education. Only the vast majority of ordinary people want education.

1、 With regard to prenatal education, the eyes should not be evil and the ears should not listen.

Zhuge Changqing: In ancient times, people actually studied people very deeply. In particular, "The Yellow Emperor's Internal Classic" and others have thoroughly analyzed people. The key of prenatal education is "Son of March, living in other palaces, with no evil eyes, no false ears, sound and taste, and courtesy".

In ancient times, the holy king had the practice of "prenatal education". When he was three months pregnant, he went out to live in another good house. His eyes should not squint, his ears should not listen to music, and he should exercise restraint in accordance with the etiquette. He also had to write these on the jade plate and hide them in the gold cabinet.

Zhuge Changqing: Today, after three months of pregnancy, you should pay attention to rest and living. You should always look good, think well, listen well, put an end to unhealthy content, evil, quarrel, and maintain a good prenatal education environment. Pregnant women can think that their children will be like sages and sages in their hearts. Pay attention to only thinking good things, make themselves happy and maintain a good attitude. In this way, we can cultivate the hearts of sages for our children.

In Chinese history, there was an outstanding emperor - King Wen of Zhou.

With the help of Jiang Taigong, King Wen of Zhou established the Zhou Dynasty with a history of 800 years. King Wen of Zhou has benefited the people and is famous for centuries.

It is of great significance and far-reaching influence on China's history.

Speaking of it, I also want to thank him for having a good mother.

King Wen's mother's name was Tai Ren.

According to the chapter of "Book of Rites · Baofu", "Tairen" is dignified and virtuous.

When she was pregnant with King Wen, her eyes did not look at evil looks, her ears did not listen to lewd sounds, and her mouth did not speak evil words. When King Wen was a child, he was deeply aware of filial piety, benevolence and righteousness. He not only showed special filial piety to his parents and cared for the children, but also was familiar with the marge archery and the law of peace and stability, which made the Minister of Civil and Military Affairs marvel. From this, we can see how important mothers are to children.

2、 During the early childhood education period, pay attention to filial piety, benevolence, etiquette, and dignity and kindness.

Zhuge Changqing: Childhood is very important. We must pay attention to filial piety from an early age. Otherwise, children will become unreasonable in the future. Confucius said, "Less success is like nature, and habits are like nature." Yes. As the saying goes, "When a teaching woman comes, she teaches her children."

When the fetus is still young, the person who acts as "teacher" and "protector" should explain filial piety, benevolence, courtesy and righteousness to guide learning. Even if ordinary people can't do this, they should teach and train babies when they know how to look and how to be happy and angry. When they are called, they should do it, and when they are not called, they should not do it. When they are a few years old, they can avoid being whipped. As long as the parents are both dignified and loving, the children will naturally be revered and cautious and have filial piety.

Zhuge Changqing: Just as Disciple Gui said, children should be "parents call, should not be slow, parents command, and should not be lazy" from an early age. Otherwise, what's the use of your parents? If you talk and your child doesn't listen, your child will be very dangerous in the future. I see that many people's children are not filial in the TV media. In fact, from a dialectical point of view, we should not only blame those children who are not filial, but also criticize them for not paying attention to the "filial piety" education of their children when they were parents.

I often don't think so when I see people in the world who don't teach children but only love them. What to eat, what to do, indulge the child at will, without control, praise the child when it is time to admonish, laugh when it is time to scold. When the child is sensible, he thinks these principles are the same. When pride and neglect have become a habit, they can't stop it. Even if the whip is vicious, they can't build up their dignity. If they are angry, they will only increase their resentment until they grow up and eventually become morally corrupt people. Confucius said, "It's just like nature when you are young, and what you get used to will become nature." It is very reasonable. As the saying goes, "The daughter-in-law should teach her children when she first comes, and the children should teach them when they are babies." This is true.

3、 Children's education should not be pampered or pampered.

Zhuge Changqing: Children's education should be appropriately strict. To spoil children is to harm them.

Ordinary people can't educate their children well, nor do they want to make them fall into sin. They just don't want to make them look depressed because of being scolded and reprimanded, and they don't have the heart to make their skin painful because of being beaten. This should be used as a metaphor for illness. Can it be cured without decoction and injection of wormwood? We should also think about those who often earnestly urge and admonish their children. Are they willing to be cruel to their own flesh and blood? It's really a last resort!

Between father and son, we should be serious, not careless; There must be love between flesh and bone, but it cannot be simple. If you are slow, you can't be kind and filial. If you are careless, you will be negligent.

People love children and seldom treat them equally. From ancient times to the present, there have been many disadvantages. In fact, the smart and handsome are certainly attractive, and the naughty and stupid should also be pitied. The kind of parents who have a preference, even if they want to be good to him, will bring disaster to him instead.

Zhuge Changqing believes that parents should always set an example for their children. They should take the lead in diligence, filial piety, charity and environmental protection. Parents are the first teachers of children.

Reference for this article: Yan Family Instructions

子女教育，从胎教环境开始，突出抓好孝道、仁义，方法侧重宽严结合。

---- 诸葛长青

  中国有一部家庭教育的好书，叫《颜氏家训》。

  颜氏家训作者是北齐时候的颜之推（529—595年）。

  颜之推，字介，琅邪临沂（今山东临沂）人。北齐文学家。出身于官僚世家，学有家传。所著《颜氏家训》一书，是北朝后期重要散文作品；《北齐书》本传所载《观我生赋》，亦为赋作名篇。

   《颜氏家训》共二十篇，是颜之推为了用儒家思想教训子孙，以保持自己家庭的传统与地位，而写出的一部系统完整的家庭教育教科书。这是他一生关于士大夫立身、治家、处事、为学的经验总结，在封建家庭教育发展史上有重要的影响。后世称此书为“家教规范”。

  诸葛长青认为，《颜氏家训》虽然不一定全部适合今天，但是有些内容还是值得学习推广的。

  颜之推的家庭教育突出五点：一是重视胎教，二是主张严格教育，三是注重环境熏陶，四是重视家庭语言教育，五是注重道德教育。

  他是这么说的，也是这么做的，他的后代出了很多名人。

  颜之推的儿子颜思鲁，就是唐代著名儒学家；

   颜思鲁有四个儿子（颜之推的四个孙子），都是名满一时。

   颜思鲁长子颜师古，被唐太宗李世民大为赞誉，是唐代著名的儒学大师、经学家、语言学家、历史学家。

  次子颜相时，唐太宗李世民十八学士之一，协助李世民打造了贞观之治，开辟了大唐盛世。

  三儿子颜勤礼，唐太宗礼贤馆学士。

  颜勤礼的曾孙颜真卿，更是名垂千古、震撼古今文坛：颜真卿不仅曾经任太子太师、吏部尚书、监察御史、获得鲁郡公的称号等，而且其创造的“颜体”书法被誉为中国书法界的四大楷书之一。

  由此，可以看出，颜氏家训真的是令人震撼啊。

  《颜氏家训》说道：

   上智的人不用教育就能成才，下愚的人即使教育再多也不起作用，只有绝大多数普通人要教育，不教就不知。

  一、关于胎教，目不邪视，耳不妄听。

  诸葛长青：古时候的人实际上对于人的研究已经十分深入了。尤其是《黄帝内经》等把人分析的十分透彻。胎教的关键是“子三月，出居别宫，目不邪视，耳不妄听，音声滋味，以礼节之”。

  古时候的圣王，有“胎教”的做法，怀孕三个月的时候，出去住到别的好房子里，眼睛不能斜视，耳朵不能乱听，听音乐吃美味，都要按照礼义加以节制，还得把这些写到玉版上，藏进金柜里。

  诸葛长青：今天来说，就是怀孕三个月后，就要注意休息起居，自己平时看好的、想好的、听好的，杜绝不健康的内容、杜绝邪恶、杜绝吵架，保持一个好的胎教环境。孕妇可以内心意念自己的孩子将会是一个像圣贤一样的人等，注意只想好的，使自己心情愉悦，保持良好的心态。这样，可以为子女培养圣贤之心。

  中国历史上有一位杰出的帝王---周文王。

  周文王文韬武略，借助姜太公的帮助，建立了八百年江山的周王朝。   周文王造福民众、名扬千古。

  对于中国历史意义重大、影响深远。

  说起来，还要感谢他有一位好母亲。

  周文王的母亲名叫太任。

  据《礼记·保傅》篇记载，“太任”品行端庄，德行高洁。

  她在怀文王时，目不视恶色，耳不听淫声，口不出恶言。文王小时候就深明孝仁礼义，太任教一而识百，触类旁通。他不但特别孝顺父母、关爱丛生，而且熟稔马戈箭术、通晓安邦定国之法，让文武大臣赞叹不已。由此可以看出，母亲对孩子多么重要啊。

  二、幼儿教育时段，注意孝道、仁爱、礼仪，威严慈爱并举。

  诸葛长青：幼儿时代很重要，必须从小就抓好孝道。否则，孩子将来就会变得不可理喻。孔子云：“少成若天性，习惯如自然。”是也。俗谚曰：“教妇初来，教儿婴孩。”
  到胎儿出生还在幼儿时，担任“师”和“保”的人，就要讲解孝、仁、礼、义，来引导学习。普通老百姓家纵使不能如此，也应在婴儿识人脸色、懂得喜怒时，就加以教导训海，叫做就得做，叫不做就得不做，等到长大几岁，就可省免鞭打惩罚。只要父母既威严又慈爱，子女自然敬畏谨慎而有孝行了。

  诸葛长青：正如弟子规所言，要让孩子从小就要做到“父母呼、应勿缓，父母命、行勿懒”，否则，你这父母还有啥用啊？你说话，孩子不听，你的孩子将来就会很危险。看到电视媒体上，报道很多人的子女不孝顺。其实辩证的看，也不能只是埋怨那些不孝顺的孩子，也要批评他们当父母的当时不注重子女“孝顺”教育。

　　我见到世上那种对孩子不讲教育而只有慈爱的，常常不以为然。要吃什么，要干什么，任意放纵孩子，不加管制，该训诫时反而夸奖，该训斥责骂时反而欢笑，到孩子懂事时，就认为这些道理本来就是这样。到骄傲怠慢已经成为习惯时，才开始去加以制止，那就纵使鞭打得再狠毒也树立不起威严，愤怒得再厉害也只会增加怨恨，直到长大成人，最终成为品德败坏的人。孔子说：“从小养成的就像天性，习惯了的也就成为自然。”是很有道理的。俗谚说：“教媳妇要在初来时，教儿女要在婴孩时。”这话确实有道理。

　　三、子女教育，不可以娇生惯养、不可偏爱娇纵。

  诸葛长青：子女教育，应当适当严厉。娇惯子女，就是祸害子女。

  普通人不能教育好子女，也并非想要使子女陷入罪恶的境地，只是不愿意使他因受责骂训斥而神色沮丧，不忍心使他因挨打而肌肤痛苦。这该用生病来作比喻，难道能不用汤药、针艾来救治就能好吗？还该想一想那些经常认真督促训诫子女的人，难道愿意对亲骨肉刻薄凌虐吗？实在是不得已啊！

　　父子之间要讲严肃，而不可以轻忽；骨肉之间要有爱，但不可以简慢。简慢了就慈孝都做不好，轻忽了怠慢就会产生。

　　人们爱孩子，很少能做到平等对待，从古到今，这种弊病一直都很多。其实聪明俊秀的固然引人喜爱，顽皮愚笨的也应该加以怜悯。那种有偏爱的家长，即使是想对他好，却反而会给他招祸殃。

  诸葛长青认为，做父母的也要时刻做孩子的榜样，自己带头勤快、带头孝敬父母、带头多做善事、带头保护环境等等，父母就是孩子的第一老师。

　　 本文参考资料：《颜氏家训》

  (This article is an original article by Zhuge Changqing, and the pictures are selected from the Internet. Welcome to forward it, and please indicate the source for forwarding)

Introduction to Zhuge Changqing: Zhuge Changqing, the inheritor and promoter of traditional Chinese culture, is willing to "learn from sages, promote virtue, revitalize China and benefit the world" together with people with the same ideals in the world.

(Zhuge Changqing: zhuge8031@163.com ）

Zhuge Changqing mailbox：

zhuge8031@163.com

Zhuge Changqing's Chinese Dream

Learn from sages and carry forward virtue

Revitalizing China for the benefit of the world

 （本文是诸葛长青原创文章，图片选自网络。欢迎转发，转发引用请注明出处）

诸葛长青简介：诸葛长青，中国国学传统文化传承弘扬者，愿与天下志同道合者一起“学习圣贤、弘扬善德、振兴中华、造福世界”。

（诸葛长青：zhuge8031@163.com）

Zhuge Changqing mailbox：

zhuge8031@163.com

  诸葛长青中国梦  

学习圣贤 弘扬善德

振兴中华 造福世界

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